When Does Dating Begin?

Recently I was discussing with a friend when dating ends and a relationship begins?

Is it a natural progression onto the point of an exclusive relationship or does that ‘we’re exclusive’ conversation have to occur before we even think about calling this person that we have grown to care about our boyfriend/girlfriend?

As I am slightly neurotic in the area of dating and need the ‘exclusivity’ talk to occur long before I could actually become an item with someone, I’ve decided to base this article on some of my closest friends.

Sarah (not her real name) is a girl who I only met recently but instantly bonded with.

Her sarcastic sense of humour and superb ability to laugh at herself made me love her even more.

She is one of those awe-inspiring friends I have previously spoken about who lives for the moment and doesn’t look too far ahead when it comes to men; well until now at least.

A few months ago Sarah began dating a guy who she really liked. She was surprised that he wanted to go out on dates rather than the usual drunken-shift-in-a -club culture that she had been accustomed to.

Besides his few bad hair days when all she wanted to do was pull a tub of wax out of her bag, all was going well.

That is until she began thinking about when they would have ‘the talk’. How long should you wait? Should the girl ever bring it up first? If he hasn’t asked does that mean he’s just not that into me? These are all of the questions which run through a girl’s psyche when they begin to think ahead…

Jen has had an experience which couldn’t differ more.

Jen has not had many relationships as she takes them quite seriously. Recently however, she kissed a guy on a night out who she had been friends with previously. After spending two mind-blowing weekends together, they decided to become an item, despite the fact that they live in different counties, essentially know very little about one another, and neither knows where they will be next month. To me this seems a little foolish, but to the less skeptical it may seem like a whirlwind romance that everyone has to have once in their lifetime. So my question is: when something feels right should we just go for it and forget about the consequences?

A guy I was seeing recently said to me after one of those awful ‘talks’ which I initiated ‘Can’t we just ‘go with the flow?’ I agreed being the nice, not-committal girl that I am. Sure, I can go with the flow if you first tell me: are we seeing other people? Are we together? Can I tell people? Is this going anywhere? Evidently, ‘going with the flow’ didn’t go too well for me, but does it ever go well for anyone?

Lastly, one of the things that has always confused me is why dating ends at dating if two people really like one another.

In my experience it is usually because one of the people involved doesn’t want to get too serious. In your early 20’s are you really looking for love? Or are you just looking for someone who get along with, are attracted to, and can have a bit of craic with at the end of the day?

Sunday Lunch at the Guesthouse

The guesthouse in Chapel Street, one of the little windy alleys around Shandon steeple, is like a secret clubhouse to which you need the password to gain entrance.

I’ve heard about it before but never managed to find it. Yesterday, two friends and I went on a treasure hunt, with bags of canned tomatoes and wine as offerings. We only found the place because a woman who looked the arty type was ringing the buzzer to a perfectly ordinary terraced house. Ok so it did have “the guesthouse gallery’ written on the window, but you still had to ring the buzzer and wait for admittance…

Sunday lunch is a great concept. You bring something on their list of ingredients and then sit around drinking wine or coffee in the front room, talking to the artists, art lovers while the hosts cook you a rather delicious meal. After about half an hour, bowls of Thai curry were handed around, with vegetarian and non-vegetarian options. After everyone had finished eating, we were herded upstairs to the gallery space, where the artist April Gertier, an American based in Berlin, gave a slideshow presentation of her work.

This was a not-too lengthy chronological overview of her artwork, projects and exhibitions, with general talk about what her interests were and the artistic community she is part of in Berlin.

Her work consists mostly of collaged photographs, often accompanied by text. The 38 Project started on her 38th birthday as a response to the increasingly outrageous market prices.

She set up a blog where she would post a work once a week at the same time, and the first person to email her could purchase the work for 38 Euro or dollars, depending on their location. The cultivation of a direct relationship between artist and buyer, and the democratizing of the value of her work, is as integral to the project as the production of the actual works themselves.

Luckily for her fans, the works themselves are of consistent quality: small compositions of collaged photographs often humorously juxtaposed on blank paper. The use of thread is also prevalent in her work, acting as lines that connect the different images and also operate as signifiers of drawings. The matrix of lines produced by the multiple threads attached to the paper is sometimes literalized in lines drawing in pencil or graphite, confusing the distinction between found object and manually produced mark.

Another project They Are What They Seem also uses photographs to produce humour collages, this time with the help of accompanying text.

Begun as a private exercise to unleash creativity when stuck for inspiration, they contain one or two images on a blank ground with a handwritten text giving narrative to the photographs.

The source material for the texts come from real experiences, overheard conversations, or are simply made up. The fact that there is no indication of which it is plays with the truth value of work, and also parodies the narrative often found in family albums, which reminds me of those scenes in movies when an older relative tells the stories of the events photographed to younger family member or visitor.

The border between reality and fiction is a prevalent theme in Gertier’s work. If Only is an examination of the way birds are represented within man made contexts such as the natural history museums. The artist wanted to make a comment on the absurdity of the killing of birds to be places in dioramas that are intended to represent animals in their natural habitat. Her photographs exclude the surrounding environment of museum, returning a truth to the bird’s origins. Yet the fact that these are still photographs of manually constructed displays, denies that truth and reveals it as the fiction that it is.

An exhibition of April Gertier’s work ‘Prisoner of damp Patches’ is opening in the Basement Project Space on 27th January at 6pm, it will run until the 10th of February.

Philosoph Israel Debate Report

Last night, 18th Oct. 2010, the UCC Philosophical Society proposed the motion ‘That This House Would Support a Cultural Boycott of Israel’.

Raymond Deane, the organizer of the Irish Palestinian

lidarity Campaign’s cultural boycott campaign, spoke in support of the motion, while Tom Carew, Chairperson of the Irish Friends of Israel, spoke in opposition.

Each speaker spoke for fifteen minutes, followed by time for contributions from the audience members.

Both Mr Deane and Mr Carew summed up their speeches, a vote was taken, and the motion carried by the House.

Hot Bevs to host jazz day in Common Room, tomorrow.

UCC’s favourite new society, the Hot Beverage Society, are to host a jazz day in in the common room tomorrow.

The event, to take place tomorrow, is to be run in conjunction with the UCC Capriccio Society, UCC’s live music society.

A live jazz band will play, and hot drinks will be provided courtesy of the society; cups, as usual, must be brought, though! It all kicks off at 12pm in the Common Room (next to the SU Building at the top of college).

The society will be holding their weekly Thursday night-in tea and coffee do at about 7pm that evening.

The Cork Student News entertainment night, with a keg of beer up for grabs and concessions to the Club Classic, is on at 9pm tomorrow evening in Sober Lane.

The society is also looking for a Coffee Beans promo team to help promote the society around campus; contact [email protected] if you’re interested.

Random website values CorkStudentNews at $1,692

A random website has valued CorkStudentNews.com at the grand sum of $1,692.

‘Haplog’ (.com) describes itself as a free website valuation service, and calculated the price for Cork Student news after assessing its daily page view level and estimating its daily advertising revenue.

Haplog estimated Cork Student News’ daily pageviews at 773 and passed it on a malware test.

Cork Student News has no plans to sell out at the moment, although offers are welcome.

To read our valuation report on Haplog, click here.