Recently I was discussing with a friend when dating ends and a relationship begins?
Is it a natural progression onto the point of an exclusive relationship or does that ‘we’re exclusive’ conversation have to occur before we even think about calling this person that we have grown to care about our boyfriend/girlfriend?
As I am slightly neurotic in the area of dating and need the ‘exclusivity’ talk to occur long before I could actually become an item with someone, I’ve decided to base this article on some of my closest friends.
Sarah (not her real name) is a girl who I only met recently but instantly bonded with.
Her sarcastic sense of humour and superb ability to laugh at herself made me love her even more.
She is one of those awe-inspiring friends I have previously spoken about who lives for the moment and doesn’t look too far ahead when it comes to men; well until now at least.
A few months ago Sarah began dating a guy who she really liked. She was surprised that he wanted to go out on dates rather than the usual drunken-shift-in-a -club culture that she had been accustomed to.
Besides his few bad hair days when all she wanted to do was pull a tub of wax out of her bag, all was going well.
That is until she began thinking about when they would have ‘the talk’. How long should you wait? Should the girl ever bring it up first? If he hasn’t asked does that mean he’s just not that into me? These are all of the questions which run through a girl’s psyche when they begin to think ahead…
Jen has had an experience which couldn’t differ more.
Jen has not had many relationships as she takes them quite seriously. Recently however, she kissed a guy on a night out who she had been friends with previously. After spending two mind-blowing weekends together, they decided to become an item, despite the fact that they live in different counties, essentially know very little about one another, and neither knows where they will be next month. To me this seems a little foolish, but to the less skeptical it may seem like a whirlwind romance that everyone has to have once in their lifetime. So my question is: when something feels right should we just go for it and forget about the consequences?
A guy I was seeing recently said to me after one of those awful ‘talks’ which I initiated ‘Can’t we just ‘go with the flow?’ I agreed being the nice, not-committal girl that I am. Sure, I can go with the flow if you first tell me: are we seeing other people? Are we together? Can I tell people? Is this going anywhere? Evidently, ‘going with the flow’ didn’t go too well for me, but does it ever go well for anyone?
Lastly, one of the things that has always confused me is why dating ends at dating if two people really like one another.
In my experience it is usually because one of the people involved doesn’t want to get too serious. In your early 20’s are you really looking for love? Or are you just looking for someone who get along with, are attracted to, and can have a bit of craic with at the end of the day?